I Succeeded at a Cool Thing!

It’s become clear to me that the only success I’m ever going to find is the success I make for myself. Right now is a great time for people to make their own success, though. I’m currently self-employed, more or less full-time, as a private tutor. Tutoring is the only job I’ve ever had that I truly enjoyed. And I made it happen by putting myself out there and taking a chance. It is paying off.

In the spirit of pursuing my own success, I posted this ad on Craigslist a couple weeks ago:

Got a Problem? I Can Solve It. (Willamette Valley Area)

Are you struggling with a problem and wish someone would help you solve it?

Then you should contact me; I specialize in solving problems.

My name is Ryan and I am offering my services to help you remove that thorn in your side. For the last two years I have been helping all sorts of people in the Willamette Valley area to solve their problems. Small business owners, students, farmers, teachers have all benefited from my particular talents. I can provide excellent references to serious inquirers.

If you are struggling with a technical or logistical issue, I have the know-how to tackle it. If there is a project that you just need to offload, then I can take it on for you. If you need a temporary extra set of hands, eyes, or brains then you need me.

My fee is quite affordable and is well worth the relief you’ll feel with my help. Initial consultations are free.

Contact me today so we can set a meeting and discuss the ways I can help you succeed and meet your goals.

2013: Relationships, Education, Writing

While I don’t care much for typical New Year’s resolutions, I do think the beginning of a new year is a great time to reflect and refocus on my priorities. Looking back, I spent a lot of time these last several months putting time and effort into pursuits that weren’t actually very important to me. Areas of my life that are important to me suffered a bit for it. As I roll into 2013 I want to focus on the facets of my life that I neglected: people and relationships, learning and education, and the written word.

I prefer to have a few very close relationships. My connections to other people are a major part of my identity, really, so I’m only truly happy if those relationships are healthy. Much of my attention will be put into maintaining and growing my friendships and to more clearly communicating my love to those people I am closest to.

When the rest of my life has been uncertain and even disappointing, my friends have always been constant, supportive, and my home. I’m going to pull people close and make sure they know that I need them in my life.

I have bounced back from my failure with DC Teaching Fellows. I’ve established myself as a well-liked and much asked for tutor in the Eugene area. I worked over a year at a local sustainable farm. All of that has allowed me to rebuild my confidence. Now it’s time for me to start looking forward again. I feel more prepared for the GRE, so I will be retaking the Mathematics Subject exam and the Analytical Writing portion of the general GRE. Graduate school is again on my near horizon. I’ll be applying to a number of schools this time. This is my primary education focus.

I have some other areas I want to focus on, though. I want to develop a portfolio to demonstrate my ability to design and implement algorithms to solve problems and my understanding of numerical analysis. The implementation portion will allow me to learn and explore different programming languages. A secondary goal is to familiarize myself with a variety of languages.

Other than those two primary focuses, I am just going to read more. This includes everything from more science articles online to non-fiction books and also catching up on the fiction books that my friends have recommended to me. Then we can talk about them which will help me grow those relationships.

Focusing on relationships and on learning will give me a lot to think about and when I have a lot to think about I write. Writing is the third area of my life that will be getting most of my attention. I claim to be an enthusiastic writer, but the amount I write does not really reflect that. I have aspirations to release a collection of poetry, but I have not produced enough poetry within the last several years to find enough pieces worth pulling together.

Distractions will not force my relationships, education, or writing to the back burner, as they have this last year. Instead, I will maintain my focus and let the distractions wait until their proper time and give them no more than they deserve.

I’m around, I just haven’t been writing

It’s now been well over a month since I last posted something. Jeez. And it’s not because I don’t have anything to say lately. I really do, actually.

I’ve just been letting myself get distracted.

So, there’s not much substance to this post. Mainly, I just want to say that there will be more words up here. I have a number of posts I’ve started but never took the time to properly write out, once-over, and publish.

In general, my life is going really well. I just finished a class–Elementary Analysis–that went well; I feel better prepared for when I eventually retake the GRE Mathematics Subject Exam. I have also decided to leave the farm I’ve worked at for the last year-and-a-half. While I love it out there, it has become a source of great frustration as I try to fit it in but also view it as a really low priority. And that’s not fair to them out there. I have more than enough students that want to hire me as a tutor to make up for the hours I spend on the farm.

So, my life is going well. I’m still fighting my ongoing battle against my inclination to passively consume with my desire to actively create. To expand on that topic my next post will be about the areas of my life I want to focus on and how I plan to make them my top priorities. I’d like to write that post while I’m back home visiting my family for the holidays.

Living in History and Beauty

When I came back to Oregon, my aunt and uncle were nice enough to let me move into the upstairs of their home for a very modest rent. And it is quite a home.

My uncle loves to talk about this house. For good reason, it has a long history with his family. There has always been a member of his family living in this house, since his family built it seven generations ago. At one point in its history, it was turned into a duplex. I am renting the upstairs ‘plex. So it is a fully self-contained living space: kitchen, bathroom, three bedrooms and a living room.

One of the bedrooms is decorated with the antique furniture that began its life in the house. A giant bed and vanity are the main pieces, but there is also a couple of chairs and some very old photographs of my uncle’s ancestors.

They have lived in his family home for more than three decades. And they have poured their energy into making this very old building into a absolutely beautiful home. As I drove down the street the other day, I was struck by the beauty of this house I’m lucky enough to be a guest in. I am so thankful to live here and to my aunt and uncle for sharing their home with me.

ρ > 0

Tuesday’s Talk of the Nation on NPR focused on the long-term unemployed whose numbers have swelled during the Great Recession. The guests on the show were inspiring in their perseverance and guarded optimism. Some of the callers, though, were simply heart-breaking. There were tales of college grads and highly qualified professionals that are struggling to make rent and triaging their bills, graduate students that had to drop out and take secretarial positions. Such people are part of the growing number of “downwardly mobile” workers.

Listening while making my deliveries, I thought of my own situation. I have a job with a small, local business where I feel valued, even if I am not using my degree or pursuing my interests. That job supplements my main work s a private tutor. When I tutor I am helping make math accessible and success possible for those hoping a college degree can give them some small advantage.

The show helped me realize that my situation is not uncommon right now. In fact, I’m fortunate to have work that is fulfilling in some ways, even if it is not leading directly to my goals or the life I initially planned out.

And I still have hope. And ambition. So even though others might express disappointment in what I haven’t yet achieved, I remain confident that I have not failed completely. I can measure my success in contemporary terms.

My momentum is greater than zero yet still.