That comfort in returning to depression
That at least if I’m panicking, I’m worrying about something
That pulling away from people
Gives them what they want:
Less of me.
That this internalized hatred,
This self-loathing and wish to be anyone else
Is my true self, my default outlook.
That this is somehow normal. Continue reading
I’m in a better place than I was a month or so ago, when I last posted. That said, I think it’s important to reflect on and report what better means in reality. I’m in no way “over it” or somehow cured of the emotional and affective turbulence of depression and anxiety. In the spirit of living my life in the open, I want to share where I’m at now. This post will serve two purposes. First, to describe the reality of living with myself outside of a moment of crisis. Secondly, to use this period of up-ness to build a resource that might help me when I descend in the future.
CW/TW: descriptions of anxious and suicidal thoughts Continue reading
This last week I descended into the most severe anxiety-induced depressive episode of my life. I’ve experienced two similar, though less severe, episodes since I began teaching. As I descended, I made a life altering choice. I want to explain this period and what I was going through. My goal is those who know me a closer look at what I experienced. A secondary goal of this post is to offer solidarity and to make a space for these kinds of feelings and discussions. We don’t talk about this stuff enough, and a lot of us are suffering through feelings and impulses that we keep to ourselves.
[content warning: suicidal ideation] Continue reading
I am officially on Winter Break. I have completed my first full trimester (plus a couple weeks) of teaching. I have had 58 student-contact days. Not only is now a good time for me to reflect and report on how it’s going, I think it’s necessary.
This is the first post I’ve published on Medium. Jump to Medium to keep reading.
29 years ago today, somewhere between 200,000 and half-a-million people came together for the Second National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. Every year after that, October 11th has been internationally recognized as International Coming Out Day. On this day, to both remember the ongoing fight for recognition, visibility, representation, equality, and justice and to continue to make the world a safe place for everyone to be themself, we celebrate what it means to be out.
I’m out, and proud. And today, I want to reflect on what it means to be out. Continue reading
I read Michael Goodwin’s article “Why it’s time for a Trump Revolution”, was dismayed and disappointed, and then tried to move on. It stuck with me, though. There are so many half-baked justifications for supporting Trump, and this article captures a few of them. The problem with these justifications is a lot of the logic doesn’t actually follow through. Continue reading
I posted my review and reaction to The Force Awakens as a vlog. I wanted to talk, rather than write, about it.
Have you seen the new Star Wars movie yet? What did you think? Let me know :)